What the hell is this?!! A clothes or spider webs? I love fashion, but this is just........ugly, ridiculous, inappropriate and weird. All blend in one.

Don't

Don't try to change me.
Because someday I will change.
People change.
I'm still young.
I just wanna live my life to the fullest.
Let me do what ever I want, as long as I don't cross the line.
Let me be myself.
Don't try to change me.
Don't tell me what I can and can't do.
Don't try to change my style, how I dress up.
Don't try to change me to become someone who I am not.
Don't.
This is who I am from the beginning, this is who I will always be.
But I do believe in changes.
When the time has come, I will definitely change.
Definitely.

am i ready?

It all started in 2009. I was in Middle East. Love the country, but.....ah, nevermind. Anyway, in Middle East (depends on what country are you) all female must wear hijab. ITS A MUST. They look so beautiful, the arbaya..masya'allah!! Jangan dikenang. Gorgeous!! The minute I landed in that country, I was surrounded with all the local people (duh, obviously!), they're all wearing arbaya and hijab..and so, I fell in love with the arbaya. I told myself that one day when I'm ready I wanna wear exactly like that. I went nuts every time I saw arbaya boutique. Mummy and daddy bought me arbaya and recently Jim's mum bought me one from Mekkah  =) sangat happy okie!!

So back to the title. Damn! This is hard for me to say. Okie...*take a deep breath* Since end of last year, I can't stop asking myself when am I going to cover up and I can't stop looking at shawls. I have no idea how or why all of the sudden hati tu terdetik sampai macam tu sekali. At the same time I ask myself, "Are you ready Tarra? Or is it just a hunch? Because a hunch is not good enough. You will end up bukak tutup bukak tutup just like others". I hate to say this but its true. Now days ramai perempuan suka pakai bukak pakai bukak tudung..I'm not saying semua but kebanyakkan. Get what I'm saying? I don't wanna be like them. Hell no!! Kalau dah tutup, means tutup terus. I've told my mum about it, she said she'll be happy if I'm ready to cover up and she even remind me not to take it off if I decide to wear hijab. Hurmmm....I feel like telling my boyfriend about this, actually I was about to tell him yesterday during our lunch..but, saya segan. LOL...pelikkan? Benda ni pun nak segan. I dunno. Takut dia terkejut beruk pulak..LOL. Haih...Ya Allah..tak tahu lah =/

Until now I still don't have the answer. I'm still in the stage of confusion. I don't know what I actually feel. I'm still searching for the answer. I hope one day Allah SWT will give me the answer to my question. Amin.

Wait..why the hell did I start writing about this??? Haih..bosan ke apa ni? Hurmm...tak apa lah, dah tulis panjang-panjang baru sekarang nak realized. Oh well, its not like there are people reading my blog..kan? =p  

it was like.....woooaah!!

Something happened today..should I say interesting things happened? Its definitely a good thing but there's one thing happened that makes me feel so touched and shocked. I never thought it will happen this fast, but I do know it will soon happen in the future. Will get use to it although I do feel a little bit awkward..hehe.

At the end of this wonderful day, I received a gift. Its touches my heart. Looking forward to 'use' it. Thank you so much =)

Cinderella's castle. Oooowh....it reminds me of my childhood years. Blissful years.
I have a polly pocket of Cinderella's castle. Eh wait, where's the polly pocket eyk??? Damn!!

end of chapter 2, let's start with chapter 3

Its 12:02 a.m. and I still can't sleep and I should have been sleeping by now because I have class tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. Tarra, Tarra..you definitely gonna have a hard time waking up tomorrow. Mummy always remind me to sleep early, she said "you look like a panda"..LOL. I'm sorry mummy but I can't =(  I used to sleep early, but ever since I finished my diploma started to sleep around 3 or 4 a.m. Shouldn't have make it as a 'habit' (I don't think habit is the right word..LOL)

Enough with the sleeping disorder. So, what's new.......?

Well, my new semester started on early February. My result just came out yesterday (3rd March 2011) and I pass with flying color...yeay me!!! I was so nervous to get my result because I'm having difficult time doing the Financial Management report. Its one hell of a report I tell ya!! Susah sangat!! Furthermore I really hate anything that got to do with finance. Alhamdulillah I pass. I got B. I know, I know..B is not something you should be proud of. But I feel so relief and bersyukur sangat, feels like the burden has been thrown away from me.

That's the end of Chapter 2 (year 2)

Move on to Chapter 3 (year 3 - Final Year).

Dang!!! I can't believe I'm in final year. Yeay!!! LOL.. Sangat risau, nervous and excited to start doing my thesis. Lepas tu habis belajar. I just can't wait to finish my study and start working. Yes I know working life is tougher than being a student. Many people been telling me and complaining how hard and tough work can be. People back-stab you just to get to the top, people envy you, if you're unlucky you will work with crazy people,etc. Honestly, I'm scared listening to all those story, but life must go on. Takkan nak hidup as a student and semua nya depends on duit parents. My sister's friend is now 30 years old and he is still studying, not working and still depends on his father. He's been changing courses and colleges..how pathetic is that???? 

Okie, now its already 12:27 a.m. I should go to sleep now..nanti susah nak bangun. Good night peeps!! ;)